Her Sicilian Father Came to Dinner

On our third wedding anniversary, I cut short my arms negotiations in Europe and rushed back to the castle estate.

I had barely stepped off the helicopter when I saw the pool party in full swing in the garden.

My husband Matthias's clan was fawning over his secretary, Tiffany, like she was the moon and the stars.

Tiffany wore my couture gown and handed out black-and-gold chips to the guests, playing the hostess.

"Tiffany is so sensible. She knows our vampire elders love the Las Vegas tables. Not like that Mafia crazy woman who scowls all day."

My in-laws beamed as they cut Tiffany's steak for her. Matthias's sister even called her "sister-in-law" with fond affection.

I had spent three years covering the losses of their underground casinos, yet they still picked apart every seat I was allowed to take at the table.

And they had been playing this game of treating the mistress like the real wife for three full years.

I watched Matthias bend his head over Tiffany by the pool, ready to turn her into a vampire and grant her eternal life. I let out a cold laugh and pulled out my satellite phone.

"Old man, I'm done playing the family's son-in-law. Blow up the ten underground docks I lent them, and every shade shelter too."

1

I hung up the satellite phone, pushed open the wrought-iron gate, and walked into the garden.

My high heels clicked sharply on the marble.

The music by the pool cut off abruptly.

Matthias had his face pressed against Tiffany's neck. At the sound, he jerked his head up.

He wiped the lipstick off his mouth and strode toward me.

"Claudia, what is wrong with you?"

"That disgusting gunpowder stink on you has ruined tonight's party!"

"Didn't you think to send a WhatsApp before you came back? Do you even know our vampire rules?"

Tiffany tugged at the starry couture gown that was mine and cowered behind Matthias.

"Matthias, don't blame Sis. She works so hard on those arms deals in Europe. She would never come back on purpose to stir things up."

Matthias put his arm around Tiffany's shoulders and turned to snap at me:

"Look at Tiffany! She's so sensible. And you? You walk around with that deadpan face all day. Who is it for?"

I swallowed my anger and didn't mention the order I had just given to blow up the docks.

I opened my bulletproof briefcase and took out a rosewood box.

I walked up to my father-in-law at the head table and held out the box with both hands.

"Father, happy three-hundredth birthday."

"This is ancient holy blood I bought from a secret vault in the Vatican. I brought it back for your birthday."

My father-in-law didn't even lift his eyelids. He swirled the goblet in his hand.

"Take it away. How dare that junk come near me? It reeks of human greed."

"Father, this blood can help you rise to Elder without a hitch..."

I hadn't finished when my father-in-law suddenly lifted his foot.

He kicked the rosewood box with the sole of his handmade leather shoe.

Smack! The box flew through the air and sank straight to the bottom of the pool.

Dark red holy blood seeped out of the cracked box and stained the pool water in seconds.

"Did you not hear me? You bring me this watered-down garbage and think we vampires haven't seen the world?"

My father-in-law leaned on his cane, stood up, and spat down at me from above.

All two hundred vampire guests roared with laughter, pulling out their phones to film my humiliation and post it on Instagram.

"Humans are humans. Even their gifts are so cheap!"

"Miss Tiffany is so much better. She gave every one of us a million dollars in black-and-gold chips tonight!"

I stood frozen where I was, my stomach churning.

Matthias walked over. Instead of standing up for me, he pulled a rusty cleaver out from under a food cart.

Clang! He tossed the cleaver down beside my high heels.

"Stop embarrassing yourself here. Looking at you makes me sick."

"Thirty deer just arrived for the kitchen, and the guests want fresh blood. Go get it ready for service."

I looked down at the cleaver, its blade dull with old stains, and my heart gave a sharp twinge.

"Matthias, today is our third anniversary. You want me to butcher deer?"

Matthias waved his hand impatiently:

"Stop complaining. You're a Mafia girl, you're used to dirty work. Or do you want Tiffany to get her hands dirty? Now get moving!"

I picked up the cleaver from the floor and walked into the stuffy, foul-smelling kitchen.

Not a single servant dared to help. I worked alone in that cold, stinking kitchen for two full hours.

The stench nearly made me vomit, and my hands had gone raw from the cold water.

By the time I walked out of the kitchen with the last cup of filtered blood, the party had reached its peak.

Matthias saw me, handed the tray to a waiter, and shoved a Polaroid camera into my arms.

"Stand there and don't move. Take a family photo of us."

I raised the camera and looked through the viewfinder at the family on the steps.

Tiffany stood in the center, stepping back as if she were frightened.

"Matthias, this isn't right. Sis is your wife. She'll be upset if I stand in the middle."

Matthias pulled Tiffany's waist tight and pressed her against his chest.

"Tonight you're the hero of the birthday party. Our family only recognizes you! Claudia, hurry up and press the shutter!"